They will do anything they can do to make themselves out to be better than someone else. I had two aunts get into an altercation recently because of this. One did the Ice Bucket Challenge, and the other thought her cause was more worth fighting for. It started out as judgment for this, and then ended up spilling into judgment for every other aspect of life.
The worst part is all of the dirty laundry was aired on Facebook. Every time you point your finger at someone else, there are three more pointing back at you. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. Facebook can be such an ugly place for judgment, and I see it there all the time. Hi Shola, I love your positivity and the insight you bring to the table. I often wonder if it is a deep down mechanisim that provokes these nasty people to be that insecure to try and i emphasize TRY to use emotions as a steam to get other people to follow their meanness.
When I see someone being mean and hateful to someone or directly to me. It definitely is a turn off. I simply walk away. No need to be around negative auroas. Keep holding your head high what you are doing is a good thing.
Enjoyed this read. In all honesty I was looking for info on how to deal with judgemental people. But when I started reading this it made me reflect on my self. I really try not to be judgmental but I catch myself doing some of the things on here.
I also catch myself being curious to why people act the way they do. Am I wrong to want to limit my interaction with these self loved and judgmental people?
Thank you for your sharing this info on judging others. I have been guilty of this quite often. As I get older it seems to get worse because I think I know everything haha. I live in an affluent neighborhood where most of the people are quite fit, dress nicely and have expensive houses and cars. It can be easy to get caught up in that trap along with everyone. The folks that I am surrounded by are also extremely competitive.
This is passed down to their children and it can be a very sad situation. Sporting events out here have become almost comical. Anyway, thanks for your wise words and I really appreciate your example of the lady in the gym. I will try to remember that the next time I try to judge someone. What a helpful blog entry. Thank you.
I have sensed insecurity in myself in the form of judging and went looking for a blog that might address it. The part about being curious was so helpful. It seems like it would allow empathy to maybe take the place of the judgement. So I will be forgiven. Such a beautiful post. I have noticed that I am becoming aware I judge others. The other day , I judge friends for their mistakes in their relationships. How unaware they are and selfish…no coherent,etc. Now, I feel bad myself for being so critical.
Great post! Laws act to prevent certain actions, like murder and theft, because we judge those actions to be wrong, and destructive to society. We can and should judge the actions of an overweight person eating fast food, or a drunk person getting in their car. Their actions may be understandable, but it does not make their actions acceptable, or good.
Not a good idea. Judgement is a powerful tool and we need to be careful not to beat other people over the head with it. I was told tonight that I was a judgemental person. It hit me like a ton of bricks because I felt I was one of the least judgemental people I knew. But was I really? I started to self reflect and wanted to learn more of what being judgemental really meant, so began to search and read. Along the way I ended up here. What an eye opener! Such an insightful blog and thank you to all the other posters for sharing your experiences as well.
A lot of it hit home for me. I will admit that through out my travels I lost some of my empathy and compassion along the way. So thank you all for helping to open my eyes and mind. I definitely have some work ahead of me and I think curiosity is a great place to start. I am judgemental a lot about appearance. Thank you so very much! Your article has spared me from self torture lasting any longer than it had to.
Life has been such a beautiful experience, full of good and bad. A few years ago, not so much. It feels so much better inside once we reach that place! Those reading this, you can do it!!!
Make a choice to find peace! Be kind to yourself!! Just as you get down on yourself, praise yourself!! Love always wins! Chin up, wings out! Be the person you seek others to be! It all starts with ourselves! Go inside and listen, the answer is always found deep within!
I would admit that I have judged. What I feel irritated about, is when others tell me that they have every right to judge another person. I agree with this article. I am so happy to have come across this article!!! I am 22 years old as of last month and have struggled throughout life with judgment of both myself and others. I have the most judgment around those areas of life in myself and I see it reflected a lot in how I have judged others. Another area is in regards to relationships, I have struggled historically in the past to feel secure in my abilities to be lovable and also in fear of enmeshment or commitment.
I can see much clearer now that the things I would get frustrated in others for was a big mirror to the things I was afraid to work on within myself. I also think that boundaries are important and that by developing a secure sense of self AND boundaries that judgment will lessen.
Before I used to let others walk all over me and resentment would build up rather than me just allowing myself to be vulnerable with how I really felt which was hurt or afraid or rejected etc. Thank you again so much for writing this, it was something I needed to read and remind myself because intellectually knew it from a couple years of research, and this coming up has helped to freshen that seed in my brain.
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Over a decade ago, I was drowning in the despondency of yet another workday. My success as the top regional performer had been numbed by a culture of incessant workplace bullying. In short, I was collateral damage in a company without the process or intention to address my experience.
Exhausted from the drama, with an unrecognizable version of myself at the wheel, I intentionally swerved off the interstate in an attempt to take my own life.
But in that half-second, my reflexes responded, and I yanked the wheel away from disaster. As I clipped the guardrail on I , something changed I am interested in Do you know what judging others reveals about you?
A lot. In the study, participants were told to judge other people for trustworthiness, dominance, and competence, after hearing them say "Hola" or "Hello. They also judged other voices as being more trustworthy and warm. Someone's physical appearance really shouldn't matter overall.
But a study found that people do judge personality based on appearance alone. Participants in the study were shown over photographs of people they didn't know. Some photographs showed people in a controlled pose with a neutral expression, while others were in a naturally expressive pose like smiling.
Even when the photographs had someone in a controlled pose, participants were able to accurately judge them for some major personality traits. But when the person in the photo was in a natural pose, participants were able to accurately judge them for nine out of 10 major traits including extraversion, openness, likability, and loneliness. The important thing to remember here is that people will judge you regardless of what you do.
You can't really control how they perceive you. The only thing you can control is yourself. These are just some small things consider — it's totally up to you whether you choose to make changes or stay exactly as you are. Williams, E. Newman, L. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Uusberg, H. Eye contact reveals a relationship between Neuroticism and anterior EEG asymmetry.
Wood, D. Ryan M. It cannot be foolproof. Judging shuts us down and prevents us from understanding the full situation or a new truth that is not known yet.
While judging, one gets stuck in a loop; one can evolve by consciously trying to escape that loop. Here are a few ways to do that:. Be Curious. We can remain in curiosity, knowing that there is something about the situation that we may not fully understand. Be Empathetic. Let us be empathetic and give the benefit of the doubt to others for their situation or the circumstances that may not be in our full awareness.
Be Self-Aware. Practice being self-aware through self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand others; knowing our tendencies will help us assess fairly, patiently, compassionately. Instead, we can learn to become more self-aware when we judge, and through that awareness, move on to adopt more interesting thought patterns. We can also be more appreciative and compassionate of the world around us for what it is, rather than trying to fit it into our optics.
He is keen to explore fields of philosophy, psychology etc. My Integrity is my core foundation on which I experience my existence. Integrity is more of an evidence for my existence than being a virtue.
To me, the essence is as much important as the existence; the spirit is as much significant as the method. My fallibility is not an impediment for my transcendence in life. Similarly my conditioning would not prevent me on my evolution journey. As I view the world around me as a reflection of my altered states of consciousness, I experience the feeling of oneness with the universe. As much I understand the world around, I see patterns in everything.
Thank you. Nishtha Kawrani. Akshay G Paraskar. Rashi Juneja. Abinaya Suresh. Maharshi Ghosh. Sai Prabhas Mallidi.
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